This is a test, this is only a test. . . .

I remember as a kid in elementary school all the kids that got in trouble and sent to the principles office for pulling the fire alarm.  Their parents were called, their backsides paddled, and their brain on overload from the lecture about crying wolf, and what if there was a "real" emergency.

Then there was me. . . . I wanted to pull the fire alarm so bad!!!!  I was afraid of the punishment, but that didn't take away the urge.  Those kids were rebels, they were cool, they went against the grain.  They were almost always also known as the "trouble makers" and "playground bullies".  Dare them to do anything and they would do it.  Yep, I wanted to be just like them!!!

I remember in high school all the kids who got suspended from school for pulling the fire alarm.  The fire trucks come, the kids get found out, because of course he/she can't keep quiet about it.  He/she has to brag about what a great thing they had done.  I mean really, we all owed then for getting us out of class, especially in the warm months.  We would be outside for at least 30 min. to an hour while they decided that it was just a false alarm.

Then there was me. . . . I wanted to pull the fire alarm so bad!!!  I knew if I was suspended, I might as well be dead.  I would never be able to talk myself out of that one when I got home!!!  But still, those kids were the rebels, they weren't always cool anymore, but beat to their own drum.  They got the attention of everyone around them and people thought they were cool, at least for the hour that we were outside waiting for someone to find the fire.  We all secretly wanted to be that person, if for only a minute.

I remember the feeling as a kid of walking by a fire alarm.  It didn't matter where it was, what kind of building I would always notice it there, staring me right in the face.  It was like it was calling to me.  It was all I could do to just walk on by and not touch it.  You would think it was pure gold, that is how strong the desire was to pull that alarm.  To feel the adrenaline, as everyone went from whatever it was they were doing to scrambling outside.  I don't think I ever really thought it through to the end.  You know all the people it would scare, all the time and money it takes for a false alarm, how it takes away from someone who might really need emergency help.  I just wanted to know what it felt like to PULL THAT ALARM!!!

I remember as an adult still noticing every fire alarm I walked by.  Being in complete control, telling myself how childish it was to still want to pull that alarm.  Knowning in all my "grownupness" that is not a smart thing to do.  Telling myself to grow up already!!

THEN IT HAPPENED . . . .

Last night at work, these four men in nice blue uniforms approached me. . .they were maintenance workers at the hospital.

Maintenance man:   "Ok you are the only one around, so I guess you get to do it"

Me:  "Do what?"

Maintenance man:  (he was holding a red folder that said "FIRE" on it) Well what do you do when you find a fire?"

Me:  (quickly learning this was a drill, started getting all nervous and such.  Can't get this wrong, everyone will know!!!!  Thinking to myself. . . ok remember. . . remember. . . RACE     R-rescue,  A - um . . um. . OH YEA!!! ALARM!!!!  WHO HOOOOO!)   "I would pull the alarm"

Maintenance man:  "Well, go ahead."

Me:  "Are you serious?  Really?  I get to pull the alarm?"  (yes I said that!!!  I couldn't stop myself!!!)

Maintenance man:  "Um, yes. . this is a drill, someone has to let everyone know there is a fire."  (he was laughing at this point)

Me:  "Do you realize I have wanted to do this my WHOLE life!  I can't believe I actually get to pull the alarm!!!  This is amazing!!!"

Maintenance man:  (all of them are laughing now)  "Um, ma'am, can you go ahead and pull that alarm before we burn up all these sick patients?"

Me:  "Oh sure. . . "

Mainentance man:  "Ok, now what do you?"

 I went throught the whole drill of calling security, and shutting doors and letting people know ect.

Me:  "Thank you so much for picking me.  I know you might not understand but I have wanted to do that my whole life!"


We stood around and had a little conversation about how we all wanted to do that when we were kids, and some of the guys fessed up to actually being brave enough to do it when they were kids.
We all laughed and had a great time there for a minute.

I have to admit, I had an amazing rush go over me just as I was reaching for that little red box, the excitement was filling my whole body!  Then I pulled it, the alarm sounded and no one ran, no quickly getting people moved, no adrenaline rush.  It didn't even feel like I thought it would when I pulled it.  I expected a little resistance. . . . but nothing.  It was so easy.    Then. . . it was over!

I was disappointed!  I'm glad he picked me.  I'm glad I got to do it.  I'm sorry it didn't give me the rush I had always imagined as a child that it would.  Maybe that is proof that I am grown up now.  Maybe that is because there is no rush to be had.  Who knows.

What I do know is that as I was leaving the hospital this morning, I passed a fire alarm.  I kinda giggled to myself as I realized that I was still noticing each fire alarm as I walked out, and that little girl urge to pull the alarm was still there.  Maybe because I wanted to see if it would be different the second time, or maybe. . . just maybe. . . . I'm an adrenaline junkie!!!

Either way. . . .I waited my WHOLE life to pull the fire alarm, and I got to do it last night!!!!